So, this is comeback post and the reason why I actually left everything all of sudden is only because I was dealing with problem like Depression and Anxiety
Yes I was dealing with Depression from a very long time and
I was really hard time and now I going to share it with you guys even though
you don’t want to know about it but I am going to do it anyway.
So let us start with Basic which is
WHAT IS
DEPRESSION?
Depression first of all according to me is impossible to
explain but still the clear Definition is mental health disorder characterized
by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing
significant impairment in daily life.
And I didn’t even knew that I was dealing with it, I
realized it after torturing myself for constant 40-45 days and when I realized
it I panicked and it was literally horrifying for me to deal with that panic
attack sort of thing because for the last 45 days I didn’t have a single clue
about what I was doing to myself and I panicked because I found myself in room
on the floor with complete darkness with fan OFF and I was like 36 degrees
outside and I found my whole body showered with my own sweat and I was like
“Hey what the Fuck I am doing with myself” and I threw up in my room because it
was all blur and I didn’t even have energy to do anything and after I threw up,
I fainted and I don’t know like for how long I was there but then I got my
consciousness back then I got up and clean up the mess I created and sat on my
bed and checked my phone. It was July 2.And then there was the most shocking
part which I don’t even remember doing anything like that. I found cuts on my
left hand and I didn’t even have a single clue about anything.
It was a big mess in my head, the inside voice was not
responding and then I realized that this is not normal and I’m dealing with
something I was not prepared for.
And then a lot of things happened after that and now I’m not
completely Okay but, I’m doing good.
And I was not dealing with Depression there was also a thing
called Anxiety.
WHAT IS
ANXIETY?
It is also a lot more complicated but the clear definition
is Intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations.
Fast heart rate, rapid breathing, sweating and feeling tired may occur.
And when I was kind of trying to remember what I was doing
in those 45 days,
There were few things I remember perfectly like being
negative about every single thought in my mind, locking myself inside my room
in complete darkness just crying about things I cannot change, feeling constant
pain inside my mind, sweating and not eating or drinking water at all and
shouting at my parents for asking me about my situation and asking me to eat
something, it was kind like I was silent for 45 days except whenever I open my
mouth just to shout in my pillow so that nobody can actually hear my voice.
Now, I am not Perfectly Fine but I’m doing definitely better than before, I will share my story but not today, this is just an Alert that I’m Back.
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